Huh?

Say what? Huh? one more time? I’m sorry? 

Sometimes I feel like that’s all I say anymore. It’s been almost 6 years since I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had my first brain surgery, thus, 6 years since I’ve heard a single sound from my left ear. I suppose it’s a small price to pay considering that a large brain tumor was removed from my brain, but sometimes I just grow so absolutely frustrated with my inability to hear fully. I live my life looking around frantically wondering if anyone is trying to talk to me. No matter where a sound comes from, it always feels like it’s coming from my right (good ear). I fear what the future brings when nature takes it course and the hearing in my “good” ear deteriorates.

 I try to maintain a positive attitude and count my blessings, and I fully understand that so many people have much larger challenges, but I’m allowed to vent once in awhile, right? Right? Did you say right? Huh?

BAHA Simulation

Last week I went for a follow up appointment with my Otologist and was introduced to the BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) implant. Because I’m completely deaf in my left ear, and my hearing is great in my right ear, I am a “candidate” for BAHA. They allowed me to do a BAHA simulation in the office so that I could see what it’s like. The put on some headphone-type things, but one side was on my forehead and the other was on on the bone behind my bad ear. I plugged my good ear with my finger and as the Dr. whispered in my bad ear, I could hear as clear is day. It was quite amazing and almost brought a tear to my eye. Even though it was simply transporting sound to my other ear, it was the first time since 2004 that I could hear someone whispering on my left side. Amazing stuff.

Maybe this makes me shallow, but despite this amazing technology I’m probably going to stay away from the implant. First and foremost, after 2 brain surgeries, any thought of elective surgery, as small as it may be, makes me shiver. Second, and this sounds bad, but I don’t like the idea of a small implant sticking out of my head. Maybe it’s a lack of confidence or insecurity, but I already feel that people stare and judge me based on my facial weakness, eye issues, etc. Having a small implant sticking out of my head would make me even more uncomfortable in my own skin.

I’d be interested to hear from anyone that has BAHA. It truely does seem amazing.

I was introduced to the BAHA implant at …

I was introduced to the BAHA implant at my follow up appointment yesterday. Anyone have any experience with it?